So, there was like this one time that this virus came and invaded the US and like everything totally shut down. For real! Like you could hardly leave the house and I felt like a prisoner in my own apartment! I know, right...it was like a movie.
I remember not being able to find any toilet paper, so I bought napkins...thinking that it is better than the alternative. And then, as if it was a mirage in the middle of Jersey City Shop Rite, on the top of a worker's cart sat a bright white beacon of light. A dozen pack of Charmin Ultra Soft (my favorite). I grabbed it so fast, I'm pretty sure I pulled a hammy, but you know those pandemics make people do some crazy things.
Like, we couldn't even use the gym. I know, right! Like how was I supposed to prepare for summer if I couldn't do my leg extensions? Seriously, such a bummer. Oh, wait, the pool never opened either so like it didn't really matter in the end that I ordered take out for 5 months straight.
After being alone for so long, I did develop a habit of talking to myself. No joke! But, I was never wrong no matter what I said. Until I realized that talking to myself outside of my apartment may raise some red flags, so why not get a dog! I looked for awhile online and then a friend reminded me that I would have to pick up poop. I bought a plant instead, but forgot to water it. And, so it died.
I guess it's a good I didn't get a dog.