2020 Recap in the Year 2030

So, there was like this one time that this virus came and invaded the US and like everything totally shut down. For real! Like you could hardly leave the house and I felt like a prisoner in my own apartment! I know, right...it was like a movie.


I remember not being able to find any toilet paper, so I bought napkins...thinking that it is better than the alternative. And then, as if it was a mirage in the middle of Jersey City Shop Rite, on the top of a worker's cart sat a bright white beacon of light. A dozen pack of Charmin Ultra Soft (my favorite). I grabbed it so fast, I'm pretty sure I pulled a hammy, but you know those pandemics make people do some crazy things.


Like, we couldn't even use the gym. I know, right! Like how was I supposed to prepare for summer if I couldn't do my leg extensions? Seriously, such a bummer. Oh, wait, the pool never opened either so like it didn't really matter in the end that I ordered take out for 5 months straight.


After being alone for so long, I did develop a habit of talking to myself. No joke! But, I was never wrong no matter what I said. Until I realized that talking to myself outside of my apartment may raise some red flags, so why not get a dog! I looked for awhile online and then a friend reminded me that I would have to pick up poop. I bought a plant instead, but forgot to water it. And, so it died.


I guess it's a good I didn't get a dog.



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