5 Days to Stillness

Updated: Sep 4, 2020

I am five days away from my next stop on my wanderlust tour.

I picked the location on a whim. My new ventures into nomadic life was part of the conversation with my thirty year old fling. He says, "Have you checked out Aruba?" The light bulb went off and down the rabbit hole I went searching for an Airbnb to host this New Jersey girl.

After 2 days of searching and scrolling, I found it. A quaint, yet beautiful apartment I can call my own for almost a month. I locked it in and let my new life continue to unfold, almost forgetting that this adventure awaited me. When I booked this trip, I imagined working on the beach to be the perfect distraction from all the stress that surrounded me.

As the days inch closer to my departure, how I spend my time away has been staring me in the face.

Over the last several weeks, I've become very aware of my time and the importance of spending it wisely. The fact is that going away alone to an island is not something I've ever done and especially for such an extended period. The idea of squandering it sitting behind a computer feels similar to receiving a gift gone unopened.

I am not good at "being" still.

When I'm still, I feel. And, when I feel, I open the door to unprocessed emotions that may be better left hidden. This leaves me pursuing a flurry of activity. The activity keeps me moving forward or if I was really honest with myself, it just keeps me busy. Busy keeps me from feeling. It's a cycle I realize. One that I'm no longer interested in perpetuating.

This week I realize, it's time to break the cycle.

It's time to be still.

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