When did you know it was time to ask for help?
I was asked that question recently and immediately felt a wave of uncomfortableness slithering through my body.
Asking for help has never been a top "to-do" item on my list.
If I have to ask, that means I can't do it on my own. If I can't do it on my own, that means I need someone. If I need someone, then I'm not independent. If I'm not independent, I can't make my own decisions. If I can't make my own decisions than what's the point of living?
In the coaching world, we call these beliefs straight out of the school of MSU!
What's MSU you might wonder? It is the school of Making Shit Up. That's right. It's the place you go when you let your mind run wild with thoughts (I like to call "pings") that disempower and paralyze you. I know you're reading this and you're like, "Oh crap, that's me!! I could teach a class at MSU." You are not alone. Why? It's easy to talk yourself out of or into believing something that doesn't work for you, because then you don't have to do the hard work to move past it.
Take my example, such as asking for help. Re-read the paragraph about the beliefs I created around asking for help. How true are those beliefs I created? How well do you think they were working for me? I'll answer that - not very well! By not asking for help, I got myself into a dark place. I didn't know how dark until I was there and thank goodness I didn't stay there for too long. The coaching skills I've learned over time helped me to find a more empowering thought, which moved me into action to ask for help.
How do you do that?
Slow and steady. In this moment, it is ok to start small. You can do that by finding just one tiny aspect of life to be grateful for in that moment. Gratitude flips the script on negative emotion and helps you move forward. Perhaps, the sun is shining and that makes you happy. It could be the fact that you saw a cute puppy and got the chance to pet it. Maybe you saw a funny commercial or your sister text you. You may have to consciously look for these moments, but every single new "grateful" thought will empower you and begin to pull you out of your funk.
Gratitude is a secret weapon to enable forward moving action.
In my case, finding something to be grateful for helped me take the next step. I picked up the phone, called a friend and said I need help. What happened next? She came over, we talked, I cried, we laughed and by the time we were done...I still have my independence.